


Of Loving and Letting Go

by Glosui



Series: Danielle Williams [1]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: F/M, Female Danny "Danno" Williams, Genderbending, Getting Together, Grey-Asexual Character, Grey-Asexual Danny, Infidelity mentioned, Rachel Edwards is Richard Edwards, self-sacrificing idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-30 21:29:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17836499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glosui/pseuds/Glosui
Summary: Sometimes loving someone also means letting go. Or this is what Danielle "Danny" Williams thinks about her love towards her partner. Catherine is back and Steve wants to propose to her which means a broken heart for Danny, but she will be damned if she wouldn't do everything in her power to let her partner have the happy ending he deserved.Warning: Contains Spoilers for the show up until episode 6.03





	Of Loving and Letting Go

**Author's Note:**

  * For [DiamondLuv](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiamondLuv/gifts).



> Did the Mature rating to play it safe, no violence or getting down and dirty.  
> Okay, so bear with me. I just watched 6.03 and I am mad as hell at Catherine and I read way too many McDanno Fics in the past few days. In this version Daniel Williams is Danielle Williams (and has always been). She was married to Richard and still has a daughter named Grace. Charlie, as sorry as I am, didn’t happen for obvious reasons.  
> I didn’t make Danny female in this version because of some kind of heteronormativity but because I’m female (quite queer myself) and seriously have no idea what goes on in the heads of men (or other people in general). But I wanted to write something about this situation, so you get this Danny. All scenes that happen in the show are written down freely and according to the context of this fic. (And for obvious reasons everything happening after 6.03 didn’t happen in my version and everything is free to write.)
> 
> You can thank DiamondLuv for this work, since she is the reason I finally continued watching the show and jumped onto the McDanno train (and she betaed it as well).

As if things hadn’t been bad enough after the divorce, her ex-husband had moved to Hawaii with their daughter and his new wife and forced Danny to give up her whole life in order to be able to see her baby-girl a few times a month. And while Richard lived in a big house with maids and everything, Danny lived in a rathole of an apartment, slept on a pull-out couch that killed her back and worked her ass off to seem good enough of a mom in order to thwart any plans of the divorce lawyers to take away what little time she got with her daughter.  
And while she had gotten used to catcalls by perps and even some people on the force, coming to these pineapple infested islands had made everything even worse because here, there was a word for everyone who wasn’t native: haole. At first, she had thought they said ‘Howdy’ which had made no sense at all, but after talking to her partner she understood what they meant. She was an outsider. So, Danny made do by looking professional and not reacting to the sidelong glances or when they called her haole. Some tried to make it look like they were saying it behind her back, but most didn’t bother, and she didn’t bother with them.  
All these little things only made living like this an even greater hell, Grace the only thing keeping her sane.

But everything changed with the murder of John McGarrett. Because walking around the crime scene led to the meeting between Detective Danielle Williams and Lieutenant Commander Steve McGarrett. And while they would constantly bicker, and she would always deny enjoying working with the maniac, she actually found a new family in Hawaii and life wasn’t so bad anymore. As time passed, she and Richard even regained the ability to talk to each other like adults and not end every talk they had in screaming matches.  
All in all, not everything seemed bad.  
And over the next months and years, people joined their ohana and some left them. The core members became closer with each other and many an evening was spent on Steve’s private beach behind his house enjoying barbecue and cold beers. And four strangers – all broken in their own way – learned to love and trust each other, the knowledge, that every single one would go through great lengths to help and save the other if the need would ever arise, unshakeable like the foundation of a building.  
And while she loved every member of her team like she loved her siblings, not all kinds of love feel the same. Because while she was aware that Steve had some kind of relationship with Catherine Rollins, some Lieutenant he met in the Navy, she was unable to help falling in love with her boss and partner. But after going through a divorce and her ex remarrying a woman whom she suspected had an affair with her then husband while they had still been married, the last thing she would do, is being a homewrecker and tell her best friend and partner about her feelings. Not only would such an action go against all of her principles about the relationships of others, it would jeopardize their partnership and friendship and that was something she simply wouldn’t to.  
So, time passed. The love she felt for Steve wasn’t the heartbreaking pining this kind of thing was often portrayed as in movies. She wanted Steve to be happy and since he was happy when he was with Cath, that’s all Danny needed. Though seeing them together all lovey-dovey sometimes hurt just enough for her to question her sanity for doing that to herself.  
After Cath stayed behind in Afghanistan and broke Steve’s heart Danny was furious with the other woman and tried her best to help her friend through that hurt. She picked him up when he was drunk in a bar or did those crazy outside activities with him in order to demonstrate that she was there should he need her (and not in the rebound kind of way). But he insisted that Cath would come back at some point.

And she did. It was only a few days until Kono and Adam’s wedding when Steve got into the car grinning widely and told her the news of Cath’s return.  
And even though she wanted nothing else than to see her partner this happy, her distaste for the other woman could not be hidden. “She stayed behind in Afghanistan not calling you or letting you know she’s okay for months, Steven! She could have been dead for all we know. And now she comes back into your life, like nothing ever happened and expects everything to keep going where she left of.” Danny could not help her voice rising a bit and her hands moving animatedly. “If you love someone you don’t do something like that! Talk to her about what her return means for the two of you.”  
“She had good reasons, she wanted to finish the mission. And save lives for that matter. Not that you would understand.” Danny couldn’t believe her ears that he would actually justify Catherine’s actions after seeing him hurt for months.  
“Not that – not that I can understand?” Her voice rose a bit more in her incredulousness. “It’s what I do for a living! But sure, dedicating your whole life to the police force and saving lives isn’t worth as much as being in the military and running around a war zone saving lives.” She crossed her arms and looked out the window. Even after all this time it hurt her just a little bit how he seemed to weigh actions in the military more than anything else. It didn’t matter to him that she had spent her whole life being an officer of the law, first as a rookie on the streets and later as a homicide detective catching killers. And even with Five-0 they had prevented so many bad things from happening and saved so many lives. But sure, Catherine staying in Afghanistan and leaving him hanging for months was worth more and Danny just couldn’t understand.  
“Look, I didn’t mean it-“  
“Shut it!” She didn’t look at him, kept her eyes on the passing buildings.  
“Danno-“, he tried again, his eyes looking at her too closely to be safe when driving.  
“I don’t want to talk anymore.” Let him run into that knife again. Next time when Catherine left – and even though she wished Steve the best, she could kind of feel it in her bones that she would – Danny wouldn’t be there to pick him up. She couldn’t watch him run into that knife a second time.  
And because being a cop had taught Danny to trust her instincts, she already knew the outcome of any further attempts of making the McRollins ship sail.

Before Catherine had returned Danny had egoistically hoped that Steve, Grace and herself would go to the wedding as their own kind of family. He had talked less and less about Cath and they had spent so much time together passing time when it had been the two of them or behaving like a family when she had Grace that Danny had begun to hope that maybe, just maybe she could get her foot into that door without being a home wrecker. But as it turns out, having that kind of hope just for that funny thing called life to rip it from you hurt even worse than watching from the sidelines for years.  
Maybe if Catherine hadn’t shown up hours before, Danny may have told Steve about her feelings when they were riding the helicopter to drop a bomb into the ocean in order to prevent it from blowing up in the middle of Waikiki. But since Catherine was back, she bit her tongue instead of yelling “I love you!” and bitched about not wanting to die. It was her body armor, her way of protecting her heart from being broken.  
And at the wedding she forced a smile when she saw Cath strolling back into the lives of everyone like nothing happened, and they accepted her back. She forced a smile when Gracie asked her to dance. And she forced a smile when everybody danced with everyone. And even though she was really happy for the newlywed couple she forced a smile during the whole ceremony because being divorced and feeling unrequited love for years had made her just a little bit bitter.

But everything that had happened reached a new low when Steve told her that he planned to propose to Catherine.  
“Oh my god, Steve, I am so happy for you!” Maybe she was laying it on a bit thick, but she seriously wanted him to be happy and if he believed that this was the way, she would do everything to accept his happiness. Even if a little part inside her was breaking at the revelation. “Do you have a ring? When and where are you planning on proposing?”  
“Calm down, Danno. I don’t have any real plans yet.”  
“I am so happy for you!” Okay, not just maybe. “And proud of you, all grown up and finally ready to tie the knot.” Definitely not just maybe.  
“Okay, okay, you can calm down already.” He had such a hard time keeping the grin from his face and maybe she was actually happy for him. Maybe Catherine even deserved a second chance in her books if she made him so happy. “Weren’t you the one who said that marriage is just a trap for desperate people.”  
“Yes, but that only means Richard and me, Cath and you are totally different people.” But she would have to have a serious talk with the other woman about this whole thing.  
“Thank you. I guess.” A complicated expression was overshadowing the happy expression from before, but before Danny was able to ask what the reason for this change was, they arrived at their destination and their conversation was cut at that point.  
And while Steve wasn’t looking, Danny shot a quick text to Catherine asking her for a meeting.

“Hey, Cath, thanks for the meeting”, Danny was quick to say when she got out of the Camaro at her favorite spot on the island.  
“Sure, everything for you. What can I do for you, Danny?” She smiled at her. God, how badly Danny wanted to punch her.  
“Nice view.” She tried to keep the situation as light as possible, but Cath gave her a look that told her she knew exactly that that wasn’t the reason for this meeting. “I think we should have a talk. Steve has been really happy since you are back.”  
“Well, I’m happy to be back as well.” Confusion colored her eyes where she was watching Danny.  
“And I think that’s one of the things he is happy about. You being happy. Here.” Danny took a deep breath against the feeling of something constricting her chest. “Look, when you left, he was suffering. He was walking around like he wasn’t, but I know him. You don’t just simply walk away from a relationship like the two of you had. Or have.”  
“Does Steve know that you are-“  
“No and please don’t tell him, he would probably kill me for butting in like this.” A deep sigh escaped Danny’s lips. “I’m just looking out for him.”  
Cath looked in the distance for a few seconds before turning again and Danny could see tears in her eyes and felt really bad about her antagonistic feelings for the other woman. “Look, Danny, I never meant to hurt him. But Steve, he understood why I had to do it. Why it was important to me.”  
“Of course, he understood, but it hurt him nevertheless.” Danny got the feeling that the Navy taught their recruits that the mission is more important than anything else - even if it wrecks you - and her lack of understanding for the institution grew even more. “I don’t know how he was before, and he has gone through a lot in the last years, but he is the best version of himself when you are here.” Breathing hurt but she kept going. “So, I want to ask you: Will you stay here? For good?”  
“There is nothing I would want more.” Standing like this, the sun reflecting on her hair, biting her lower lip and everything, Danny could see the appeal of the brunette and it wasn’t just her looks, her mind was as sharp as a knife. Everything anyone could want in the person they wanted to spend their life with. “But Danny, may I ask you something?”  
“Of course, anything you like.” She tried to smile through the pain of giving up the last hope she had to maybe work things out between her and McGarrett.  
“Why are you doing this?” Cath’s question was unexpected and after an unsure glance from Danny, she elaborated. “You are in love with Steve yourself, are you not? So, why are you trying your best to get things to work out between Steve and me?”  
If she had been drinking something, she would have spluttered it all out at that revelation and probably even inhaled a good amount of the liquid. But as it was, she was standing at an outlook nothing to drink, just regular flabbergasted. She was unaware of broadcasting her feelings like that, for others to become aware of them. But since Cath had picked up on them and given the situation, she probably deserved the truth. “Well, loving someone also means knowing when to let go because their happiness lies somewhere else. Steve is happy with you, in a way he would probably never be with me. And I can’t give him everything like you can.” The moment of speaking the words aloud helped relieve the constricting feeling in her chest but it broke her heart to have it out in the open. “So, since I love him, I’m helping him towards his happiness, instead of destroying everything by being egoistic.”  
Catherine reached for Danny’s hand and held on, looking into her eyes. “For what it’s worth: I think you are one of the best people I have ever met.”

After that talk Danny thought everything would be alright. But she had been wrong. Oh, had she been wrong.  
The next day, she was lounging on the couch, flipping through a book when her phone vibrated with an incoming message. It was from Catherine which already drew her brows together into a frown but when she saw the words she was on her feet and in her car within seconds. The message had read ‘Go to him’.  
When she arrived at the McGarrett house she went for the front door immediately. She couldn’t even be bitchy about him not locking the door like no one would dare break into the house of the mighty Commander McGarrett. She looked around the open space that was his living room and was unable to spot him, until her eyes fell onto the bit of dark hair that was visible through the window towards the lanai. She made her way carefully towards the door and stood there for a second, unsure of what to do or how to act. But as soon as he lifted his head to acknowledge her, she was able to see the tears glistening in his eyes and her body moved of its own volition, wrapping her arms around his body and trying everything to convey the feeling, that he wasn’t alone, and she was there for him.  
After some time had passed and the sun began touching the horizon, he moved just a little bit, but she knew her partner well enough to loosen her arms around him and sit down in the second chair.  
“Do you want to talk? Or should I break out the alcohol?” And since he didn’t react to either of the suggestions, she went into the living room and fetched a bottle of whiskey with two tumblers and put them down on the outside table without serving any. “Or I can go, if you would prefer being alone.”  
But before she had even made the slightest move towards getting up, his hand had closed around her wrist. “Stay.” His voice was silent and scratchy, like he had actually cried or screamed. Too soon, he pulled his hand back, opened the bottle and poured himself a glass, more than you usually do, and drank it in one go. The second time, he poured one glass for his friend as well, who took it and watched with him as the sun disappeared behind the horizon. Some people might say, Danny never shut up, but she knew full well when silence was better than words, and she wouldn’t force Steve to disclose any information he didn’t want to share, though with the message from Catherine she already had an idea of what happened.  
When Steve went to grab the bottle for the third time, Danny had only taken a tiny sip from her drink, but she wouldn’t try to stop the man after he just got his heart broken. The silence stretched for minutes or hours, time simply passed, before Steve began to speak.  
“I think it’s over between Cath and me. For good this time” His voice was even, betraying not the slightest bit of emotion. Danny couldn’t tell whether he was sad or happy or anything in between. Though in regard of the fact that he wanted to propose to the woman that had just left him hanging before he got the chance, he probably wasn’t happy.  
“Did she tell you why?” Danny tried to sound as neutral as possible considering that the other woman had told her that she wanted nothing more than stay here and now she was gone, and now Danny had the strong urge to find and strangle her.  
Some minutes passed, like he needed to replay the conversation in his head. “She said something about feeling needed and going to help people in Nepal.” He shook his head like her words made no sense to him and he was shaking his head because maybe the pieces would fall differently and suddenly make sense. “She said she can’t give me everything I need to be happy.”  
Danny’s heart stopped beating at the silent words. Was this her fault? Had she forced the other woman out of the picture by admitting to her that she was in love with Steve? Dread curled in her stomach and she felt sick. She wanted nothing more than for the man she loved to be happy but had that lead to him being more miserable than she had ever seen him?  
“That doesn’t even make sense.” His voice was starting to choke up and Danny leapt to her feet again, setting the glass on the table and putting her arms around Steve. “I’m happy when she is here, why would she think that?” His voice was muffled by his face being buried in her side, but he held onto Danny like she was the lifeline keeping him from drowning.  
“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Steve. If I could I would change things.” She kept repeating those things. If she hadn’t gone to meet Cath yesterday would things be different now? Feeling the guilt of being the reason her best friend and man that she loved was this distraught was worse than any wound or torture she had ever felt. She would do anything in her power to make it better.

In the course of the next days, Danny might as well have moved into the house since since she was spending almost all the time she wasn’t at work there. She slept on the couch and cooked breakfast and supper. The only times she went home were to shower and get a new bag with fresh clothes. Her guilty conscience made her do anything that might have the slightest chance of making Steve feel better.  
Kono, Chin and Lou looked at her real funny when they realized her behavior but didn’t ask her about it, maybe in part to the fact that she didn’t give them the opportunity to do so. In front of the others the Navy SEAL didn’t show any signs of his distress but at home he spent most of the time on the lanai watching the ocean or on the steps in front of his house, as if he expected Catherine to come back any second.  
Danny tried to reach her, but all calls went straight to voicemail and messages were left unanswered. After two weeks she began to get desperate and called her sister Stella, with whom she was closest with of her siblings. She basically knew about everything happening in Danny’s life and had caught onto her feelings towards Steve early on. And even though she had urged Danny to act upon those feelings, she understood very well why Danny would have never done so, especially since she knew about her suspicion about Richard and his new wife.  
Her sister picked up after the second ring. “Hey, sis, I actually wanted to call you sooner, but things just kept happening. How are you and my favorite niece?”  
“I think I may be the reason why Steve and Catherine broke up.” Danny couldn’t help the sob that followed the last word, the anxiety and the guilty conscience of the past days catching up with her and threatening to crumble her legs from underneath her.  
The easygoing tone of her sister disappeared immediately, and she was there in all seriousness, the big sister wanting to help her younger sibling. “What happened and tell me everything.”  
And Danny did. She told her sister everything that had happened, starting with Cath’s reappearance, how Steve had told her that he wanted to propose to Catherine, her talk with the other woman and finally how the brunette had broken things off with Steve using words that Danny had said just the day before.  
“Wow.” Her sister sounded almost breathless. “That’s a lot.”  
A sobbing laugh escaped Danny and she reached up to wipe away the tear that had escaped her eyes. “That’s one way to put it. God, Stella, what if I’m the reason she went away.” She felt like she couldn’t live with herself if that was the case. “What if I’m the reason he is miserable, and I destroyed every chance for his happiness by admitting towards his girlfriend that I’m in love with him. How stupid could I be? Me and my stupid – “  
“Stop it right there, missy.” Stella’s voice was soft but determined. “You have that bad habit of carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders even if that’s seriously not the case. You did it back when Richard cheated on you, you did it when mom and dad almost got divorced, you’re doing it with Grace every single day and now you are doing it again.” Her sister didn’t even let Danny get a word in, instead she simply continued. “Now listen to me: Catherine sounds like an amazing and confident woman who knows what she wants. She sounds confident enough that she shouldn’t get spooked simply because the partner of the guy she already is in a relationship with tells her what she already knows. Especially –“, she continued before Danny could even open her mouth, “– if you told her in the same conversation that you had no intention of acting on said feelings. Even though said partner is drop dead gorgeous and only hides her beautiful body in her ‘professional work attire’.”  
And even though her sister’s words didn’t make the guilt go away, the knot in Danny’s stomach seemed less tight after hearing her say that.  
“So, you said you have been basically living with the guy…” The innuendo in her sister’s voice startled a laugh out of Danny, even though they both knew that she would never act upon any of the implied behavior. But after that, the change towards a lighter topic was easier and they talked a bit about their lives. The conversation ended with the order to take pictures for her sister of a half-naked McGarrett emerging from the sea like Aquaman and the reminder to keep Stella’s words about Cath’s reasons in the back of her mind.

So, in order to get his mind off things, she invited Steve to come to the beach with Grace and her, saying that her daughter wanted to go to the beach and swim, maybe even surf a little bit and he knew Danny didn’t like that stuff. And since they were friends and he liked Grace he came along.  
While Danny was lounging on the blanket, she watched as Steve put her daughter on his shoulders and walked into the sea, being rock steady against the incoming waves. She probably wouldn’t be so calm if Richard would hold her on his shoulders like that, but she knew that her partner would rather throw himself off a building than let anything happen to Grace.  
And even though it wasn’t exactly what her sister meant she took a picture of Steve and Grace as they were coming towards her, though she had no intention of sending it to her sister.  
“I brought food and water. I have one bottle of lemonade for you, monkey, but that’s it.” And even though Grace was in her early teens by now, she still enjoyed the sugary liquid but drank enough water as well to keep her hydrated. She talked animatedly with Steve and told him about everything that had happened in her life since she last saw her Uncle Steve, the talking obviously an inheritance from the Williams side of the family. And as she watched the scene unfold, Danny felt warm und happy, about her daughter and the careless face of her partner for the first time in what felt like forever, concentrating with everything he had on what Grace had to say.  
And as she tried to sneak another picture of the two of them, Steve looked at her and gave her a one-sided grin and a spark in his eyes, before returning his attention to Grace. And even though she had managed to take a picture in exactly the right moment, Danny got the feeling that she wouldn’t need it to remember the expression McGarrett had given her. With a blush on her cheeks and her heart beating rapidly, she put the phone away and looked back at her daughter. Everywhere but the man that had managed to get her flustered with nothing but a glance.

After that day at the beach things had finally started to look up. Steve was done moping around, looking at the driveway or the sea for hours (though sitting on the lanai together had become a thing for them) and he smiled more easily again. His crazy ideas were back on track and Danny had begun calling him a lunatic again for half of them.  
Trips to the beach with Grace had become somewhat of a ritual, sometimes the whole ohana tagged along, sometimes it was just the three of them. Grace even stayed over at Steve’s place when they had barbecues together at his place or something similar. And since the house was formerly inhabited by four people there were enough rooms so that Grace staying there was no problem.  
So, one day, they were there at Steve’s house when Danny realized, that her period had begun, and she had none of her own stuff. Since Catherine had spent quite some time there and Danny hadn’t seen Steve put any of her things away, she made her way towards the upper bathroom and looked for sanitary products. What she did not expect, was a folded piece of paper that bore her name on the front, hidden away in one of the packages.  
She was unable to remember how long she had just stood there, staring at her name, when she heard Gracie call from downstairs. “Danno, we have to go if we want to be there in time!”  
“Coming!” She pushed the paper into her back pocket and quickly got everything done, before hurrying downstairs. “Let’s go, monkey.” She turned around again and smiled at Steve who was standing on the stop of the steps watching them, smiling, as Grace climbed into the passenger seat. “See you on Monday, McGarrett.”  
“See you on Monday, Danno.”

Danny only remembered the folded piece of paper when she fell down on her bed after returning home from dropping Grace off at Richard’s after her cheerleading competition was over.  
Cautiously, she unfolded the paper which she now realized, was actually a letter addressed to her. And as her gaze wandered towards the end of the page without reading the letter itself, she realized that Catherine had left her a message before she left obviously.

Danny,  
I’m sorry to do it this way, but I didn’t know any other way and there wasn’t much time left, I hope this letter finds its way into your hands quickly, nevertheless. I knew I told you that I would want nothing more than to stay here but I think we all know that I wouldn’t actually be happy here on the long run.  
And after our talk I realized, that I have been egoistic all along, stringing Steve along knowing that there was no actual future for the two of us. I don’t know if he ever told you, but he actually wants a family someday and even though I like kids, I never planned on having any of my own. And while this is his home, it never actually was mine, so staying together would have made at least one of us miserable at some point.  
But by talking to you, I realized something else: He is the best version of himself living here. That may be due to many reasons, but I think one of the main reasons is you. You talk back to him and set clear borders, while understanding his. You were there for him through everything that happened, flew across the globe for him when necessary. And even when he screwed up, he could be sure of your unconditional love, something he didn’t have for a long time, though he may not be aware of it in this way.  
Furthermore, I realized that I was actually the egoistic one. I could see that Steve loves you and still I kept him to myself. He always talks about you. Almost as if you hung the sun in the sky. You are the most important person in his life, and he loves you, the same way you love him. I hope with me gone he will come to realize it and not waste his chance.  
I don’t actually know you well enough to do this, but I hope you will forgive me for my brashness: Give him some time, but don’t wait too long to make what is meant to be happen.

I wish you the best,  
Catherine

Being shell-shocked was a nice try of giving Danny’s feelings a name. So many thoughts and emotions coursed through her after reading that letter, her eyes wide open but without actually seeing anything. She was kind of right by thinking that she was the reason for Cath’s disappearance. But from this letter it seemed like the other woman was well aware that there were issues to begin with, which had been no problem to their relationship at the time but would have become more apparent as time progressed. But what she had written about Steve having feelings for her could not be the truth, could it? Even if he was unaware that he was kind of in love with his partner, the other stuff about her being the most important person in his life couldn’t be true, not with Catherine in the picture. And yet, the voice in the back of her mind whispered, Catherine was aware of all that and has cleared the field because she knows you are better for him.  
The vibration of her phone had Danny jumping out of her skin and she came to the conclusion that the whole situation was too much for her and dialed a familiar number on auto-pilot.  
“Danny? Is everything okay?” The worried voice of her sister had Danny looking outside to realize that the sky had turned dark and evening had arrived.  
“Yes, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how late it had gotten.” Her hand went to her forehead trying to think past everything going on in her head. “Do you have time to talk?”  
“Yeah, just give me a sec.” Danny could hear the sound of people talking in the background and her sister telling them that she would be right back, before coming on again after the jingle of a bell could be heard. “Sorry, I’m out with some colleagues. So, what has my sister so out of her mind, that she didn’t realize time passing. Did you finally get horizontally with that hunk of a boss?”  
When she didn’t immediately give a negative answer to the question, her sister gasped loudly, and Danny hurried to say “No! I did no such thing. But there has been… some development.” And she started talking. About all the changes that had happened in the course of the last few weeks and finally the letter. At first, she simply tried to summarize the content but after correcting herself for the third time she simply read her sister the whole thing.  
“I told you that Catherine is enough of her own woman to decide something like this on her own.” Stella sounded very smug after she was finished reading the letter. “And the only thing you did by talking with her was make her realize that what she had would not work out. So, stop feeling guilty about what happened and start giving the man some serious signals.” Though her voice was never harsh or anything close to it, Stella’s voice grew unbelievably soft. “Seriously, Danny. You deserve to be happy again. Especially after everything Richard has put you through. And I never hear you as happy as when you talk about Steve, Grace being the exception for the obvious reasons. You are allowed to be happy so go for it, for God’s sake.” The breathy laugh of her sister at that made Danny laugh a little bit as well.  
“I love you. And sorry for calling you with my boy trouble all the time.”  
“It’s been like this since you were in Middle School and I wouldn’t want to change a thing. I love you, too.”  
“Now get back to the table, before you freeze to death in a Jersey night. Have fun.”  
After she hung up on her sister, she fell back to lie on her bed, staring at the ceiling. Talking to her sister had helped to order her thoughts and make sense of those many things that were going around in her head. And her doubt about Steve maybe having romantic feelings towards her as well were roadblocked by the memory from the beach that day and the glint in his eyes, like he wanted nothing more than to topple her into the sand and kiss the smile off her lips.  
And with that image in mind, Danny closed her eyes and tried to imagine what an actual romantic relationship between her and Steve would look like.

Over the next weeks and months, Danny tried giving signals. Not too obvious of course, she didn’t want the whole team to know, but hopefully clear. But she didn’t get any returned as far as she could tell. Until one evening when the whole team was at Steve’s house having a barbecue, with Steve and Lou discussing the best approach to do it, Kono and Adam relaxing in the hammock and Chin and herself throwing a football, as well as possible given the small garden.  
And even though Danny kept saying that she hated Hawaii, everyone knew by now that that was not the truth. She had moved there by force in order to be able to see her daughter, but she enjoyed living there by now. This was the place where her ohana lived and they enjoyed each other’s company. And even though she still wasn’t as fond of the beach and still hated pineapples, she was running around barefoot with sand between her toes, no tailored slacks or blouse in sight.  
She felt relaxed. Except that she could feel eyes on her. Not threatening but watching.  
After everyone else was gone, Danny and Steve sat down on the lanai, which had become kind of their ritual after sitting there together many an evening after Catherine left. But now, it was their thing.  
Danny could feel a slight buzz, not enough to make her tipsy but the evening and the bit of wine she had had made her basically drunk on happiness.  
“May I ask you something, Danno?”  
She turned her head towards her partner and smiled at him. “Since when do you ask whether you can ask something instead of simply asking it? Usually you just do.”  
He took another pull from his bottle before looking at her, his greyish eyes never leaving her face. “In all the time we have known each other, you never actually told me what happened between you and Richard, what led to the divorce.” Danny could feel her body tense and Steve probably saw it even in the low light since he continued “You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to. The thought just occurred to me.”  
Danny thought for a little while. She could just laugh it off, lie about it or tell him she didn’t want to talk about it. But maybe this was the moment. Maybe this meant that he had thought about starting a relationship with her and he wanted to know how broken she was before he got into it. In the next second she shook off that kind of thought. Steve was ten times the man Richard could ever be, he wouldn’t think of her as broken or not enough. “You see, it’s kind of hard to explain and a bit of a long story. But if you really want to know, I’ll tell you.” He nodded and she took a deep breath to calm her nerves. “You see, I don’t really… like, you know, sleep with someone, until something serious has been established, but not in the traditionalist kind of way. And Richard told me that he was okay with it and everything and after some time I really wanted to sleep with him and stuff. So, we got married, we had Grace, and everything actually only got worse from then on. Right after her birth we were always tired and I didn’t really, you know, want to do it. Soon after I continued with work as much as possible and we started fighting about me working, me being a cop and how I couldn’t keep doing what I was doing since I would leave behind a child if I got killed in action. After some time we basically fought about everything and, I don’t know, I started to fall out of love with him. Sometimes, it felt like he was a completely different person, more aggressive, he spent less time at home, more time working. He accused me of not being a good wife, because I didn’t fulfill his needs.” That point still made bile rise and her fingers clenched around the armrest of the chair.  
Suddenly her left hand was enveloped in a bigger, warmer hand. “You don’t have to keep talking if you don’t want to.” Such a kind smile.  
And she tried to return the smile, though it came out tired and forced. “It’s okay. I kinda want you to know.” She swallowed and sipped on her wine, letting his warmth do most of the comforting. “One day he handed me the divorce papers and moved out the same day. During that time Grace stayed with me since it was the same town and I was still in the apartment and everything. But it feels like as soon as the divorce was through, he showed up with his new fiancé and tried his best to take away my daughter. I always suspected that he had an affair with her long before we divorced. And because I’m a detective and he is a real estate agent and has a soon to be new wife, he gets full custody and moves her to this pineapple-infested hellhole.” The last words were said with a slight smile, even though the story told was a bitter one. Everyone knew by now, that she liked it here.  
Steve moved from his chair and knelt in front of her, which made him only a little smaller than her in sitting position, and put the hand he had previously on hers, on the side of her neck. “Richard is a fucking moron and deserves to have his neck wrung for what he did.” And though his words were harsh, his grip was soft as he laid his other hand on her knee, this was a position that had basically no other meaning than what Danny was thinking of and her heart started beating double time. “The way he acted was not okay, promises are for keeping and there is no greater promise than marriage. I can see in your eyes, that you are scared but I will never, ever do something like this, Danny. I want you Danny. I want you in my house and in my life, as more than my partner or friend. I want to be able to growl at anybody who dares hit on you or even worse insults you. I want to call you my girlfriend, because I’m damn proud of everything you are because you are one of the most kick-ass people I know. And we can go as slow or as fast as you want. But I want Grace here, too. I already adore her, as if she were my own, you know that. She can have one of the rooms permanently and can decorate it any- “  
Danny leaned forwards and pressed a kiss to his lips to shut him up. “Usually I’m the one who can’t stop talking.” It was a watery laugh that came out, because tears of joy rolled down her cheeks. “Yes, to all of the above, you crazy person.”  
He kissed her again, lifted her into his arms without a problem and started walking towards his bedroom. As soon as she realized the direction, he was taking she tensed but he smiled at her. “We don’t have to do anything tonight. I just want to hold you in my arms, if that’s all right with you.”  
Releasing a breath, she smiled at him and nodded.

The next morning, he was getting up way too early to start with his crazy SEAL routine and woke the blonde woman in his bed, who actually growled at him. “Let me sleep you maniac and do your thing.”  
He smiled next to her and pressed a kiss on her shoulder, her scent mixing with his T-shirt which made him almost want to purr. “Yes, Danno.” Another kiss on her shoulder.  
And as he walked away, they were both smiling. This was only the beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so Danny turned into a mixture of the guy from the show, me and a bit of my imagination. It kind of turned into the kind of unrequited pining kind of love, seriously didn’t plan on doing that.  
> And finally: In the end this Danny is kind of Grey-Ace, because she is partially based on me so why not mix that aspect as well. I hope nobody minds.  
> I may write more about those two someday, especially since I kind of look forward to imagining those two hard-headed mules living together, getting engaged at some point (since an engagement started this whole thing) and maybe even having kids. Some drabbles are already in work, others will most likely follow.


End file.
